Love Me
by neonlion
Summary: “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this! I wasn’t supposed to wake up! Who am I? What am I?” she screamed into my chest. Her words being broken by dry sobs. I just gripped her tighter trying to stop her from breaking. “You’re Bella."
1. Chapter 1

**Okay this is my first story so please no flames!! I hope you like it :)**

**summary- Edward left and Bella was changed. Bella loses her memory but finds someone to help her pick up the pieces. When Edward comes back who will she choose? (I know i suck at summaries)****

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**Bella POV-**

"You….don't…want me?" "No." I felt nothing. I waited for what seemed like forever but only lasted a few seconds, nothing. I slowly peered up at him to see his cold face flicker from scared to emotionless so fast I wasn't sure if it changed at all. His lips breezed through words that might as well have been in another language. All I could hear was a strange rasping noise. He was leaning his to perfect face in my direction but I swiveled out of his reach so my back was facing him. _Don't let him touch you, don't let him near you _I kept on chanting in my head scared that if I felt his cold petal lips on my skin I would also feel everything else. He couldn't hide his face then. I saw his eyes fight for his cold mask but already showing tints of shock and fear. Why does he keep looking at me like that? I brought my trembling hands to my face surprised to find it so wet. I knew I was breaking and I wouldn't let him see it. I knew it was coming sooner or later so why was I so surprised now. He deserves better than me. I turned back to him smiling with all my love. "Be happy." I told him. With that I whipped back around before I could see his angel face and ran. _Damn, I'm such a coward..._


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter 2 yayz! sorry for all the grammer mistakes and plz no flames!

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3 months later

It's been three months. Three months of not seeing his face, breathing his scent, feeling his arms around me. "Stay safe, for Charlie." He told me. Heh, if only it was that easy. I wanted to march right up to his perfect pretty face and scream my lungs out "I CAN'T!!" Did he think Charlie liked seeing me like this? Everyday… I just can't do it anymore. I'm so…pathetic. Now crystal drops were plopping on my pillow. "Bella Marie Swan!" Charlie's voice boomed so loud I couldn't hear the door slam. "This has to stop! You can't just lie here and… where are you going?" I had already pulled on Edward's favorite jacket of mine and was walking out the door. I hugged my dad and said "I'm going to visit Jacob. I'm sorry." I wish he knew the meaning behind my sorry. Now he smiled my favorite eye crinkled smile scratching the back of his head with an embarrassed blush. "Sure, love ya Bells. Have fun at Jake's tell Billy I said hi." I wish I could.

I stepped in the car and drove. I drove to the one place that held things maybe even more dangerous than him, the forest. I walked for hours, days, years it didn't matter just to find something, some way to get rid of this pain. I pushed some tree branches out of the way to find the one place I never thought I would find ever again, our meadow. I fell on to my knees. Shaking so hard that I couldn't breathe. Drowning and not being able to call for help. I needed anything, anything at all to lessen the pain. Then I saw a sharp rock, perfect. _"Bella don't even think about it!" _I dropped the rock and froze. My heart skipped a beat. That beautiful voice… I slowly reached for the rock. _"Bella, what about your promise? What about Charlie and Renee?"_ The voice sounded more desperate now.I jammed the rock in my arm until blood started to trickle onto the grass. _"BELLA!" _Before I knew it I was slammed by a boulder and hit the base of a tree. I was dizzy with pain until I heard a smooth velvet voice next to my ear. "You smell too appetizing for your own good…" My eyes focused on an 18 year old boy with messy coal black hair, entrancing ink black colored eyes, wearing a navy blue button up shirt with grayish black jeans. He looked almost as beautiful as Edward. _"Bella don't breath. What ever you do don't tempt him." _He flashed me a boyish smile flaunting his pearly whites coated with venom. "I wonder if anyone would miss you hm. It's just one little human. I bet Cassidy wouldn't mind that much." Edward's honey sweet voice was now growling so fiercely it could scare every bear in the surrounding area. "Just…one…little..." His deathly butterfly kisses were trailing down my neck with every word. My eyes fluttered closed. _"I love you Edward_." Saying his name felt so right. _"Bella no! No, no, no! _The voice was now sobbing. _"You promised me! Don't you dare give up on me! I...I need you please." _"Human!" His teeth gleamed as a lone tear trickled down my cheek landing on the beautiful stranger's spiky hair. "IAN DON'T DO IT." A flash of long strait black hair and violet eyes flashed past me throwing the boy into another tree. She was a beautiful petite vampire. A little taller than Alice, she was wearing a dark purple blouse with a black jacket that matched her long dress pants and high heeled shoes. Her hair was to her waist. She was the definition of resplendent. I slid down the base of the tree my back against the trunk brown hair cascading down my face. "Ian you don't want this! We don't want this! Ian what about Nick! What about Amy!" Ian's face flicked though hundreds of emotions. The girl apparently Cassidy was fighting hard to hold him back. Edward kept on chanting in my head. _"Run Bella run! Now's your chance" _"Ian was now shaking, teeth clenched battling to keep control. _**"Run! Why won't you run damn it!"**_ His voice sounded so much like Edward's I had to wait a moment so I wouldn't break down. "Because then I'd lose you." Ian sprung forward slamming my head into a branch. As I sunk into darkness I heard an angel sobbing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay here's chapter 3! please review :D**

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As I drifted in and out of consciousness whispers, voices, and screams were all I heard. It took me a while to realize the screams were mine. This was the happiest I had been in a long time. This was what I wanted after all, to die. The pain I was feeling at this moment could never come close to the pain I've felt these past months. It finally stopped ripping at my chest and now I was lying in the fire. But the stupid screaming didn't stop. Neither did the velvet smooth voice next to my ear. Finally the darkness was coming. I could finally sleep. Before my eyes shut for the last time I saw his beautiful face. _**"I'm so sorry."**_ I smiled, finally.

**Ian POV-**

Finally the screaming had stopped. She fell asleep for the last time. I couldn't even bring myself to look at Cassidy. No matter what anyone said I was a monster. A cold hearted demon that deserved worse than hell. I held her smooth tiny hand in mine counting her heart's final beats. Thump……….thump……….thump I lowered my head letting my messy black locks fall in front of my now violet eyes. My body started to shake as dry sobs pushed themselves past my clenched lips. "I'm so sorry." I whispered over and over until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I didn't need to look up to know who it was. I'm surprised she'd even want to stay with me Let alone be in the same room as me. "Cass I…"

"Shhh" she murmured bringing her manicured finger up to her lips. With a reassuring smile she lifted my fingers off the hands of the beautiful brown haired soon to be vampire and guided me outside to our small porch. She sat down on the wooden stairs motioning me to do the same. We sat like that in silence staring at the stars until I broke it. "Cassidy who was she?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer. How much did I ruin? She tucked a long strand of Black hair behind her ear giving a sad smile.

"I believe her name was Bella." A small smile tugged at my lips. It fit her perfectly. "But, Ian it's odd." She continued her face concentrating on something far away. "When I tried to read her memories it was like pushing against an invisible wall. Ian I don't think she wants her memories back. She's keeping them locked up, this has never happened before. I've read so many memories but never anything like this." There was a long silence as we both mulled over the new information.

"Cass, why don't you hate me?" I asked miserably.

"Why would I hate you?" She said her face filled with confusion.

"Cassidy, I'm a monster. I took her life, I took everything from her! I turned her into a blood sucking leech, a murderer!" There was a short pause while she reached over and stroked my hand.

"Ian, I could never hate you no matter how hard I tried. You're my brother and were in this together. God, that sounded cheesy." she chuckled shaking her head.

"But..." Her eyes narrowed at my weak protest.

"But nothing! It's not your fault. You didn't do it on purpose! It was a mistake and now it's over. We can't do anything about it except help her and try to move on." She huffed as I gave her a small smile.

"Now stop being a cry baby and let's…" Her speech was interrupted by a loud crash.

"Bella!" I bolted up and ran as fast as I could to the study Cassidy following behind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi ya here's chapter 4 :) sorry it's short  
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I ripped the door off its hinges running in to be electrocuted. I was thrown against the wall making the room shake and the remaining book shelves fall with a loud bang. Books flew everywhere their old pages flapping in the wind but I didn't see that. All I saw was her. Her small arms wrapped around her legs pulling herself in to a tiny ball. She was shaking as dry sobs racked her body. Her eyes were wide open almost glowing. She flinched as I slowly stood up cringing deeper into her little ball hiding her face. "Bella?" I called timidly. Another sobbed echoed around the room. My eyes softened all insecurities gone. "Bella, Bells don't cry. Please, please don't cry." I said my eyes getting prickled with tears I could never shed. "I swear I won't hurt you. I wont let anyone hurt you ever again you hear me never!" I pushed against the invisible shield around her sharp stabs of pain going threw me. The shield crackled growling with resistance. Her wide terrified eyes shot up at my face. Her long brown hair was sprawled down past her shoulders cascading down her face. She just stared as I shoved through landing on my knees inches away from her face. Pain stilled tickled my skin as I lifted one finger to brush a strand of mahogany brown away from her heart shaped face. A small sob blew past her lips. "Don't cry baby please don't cry. Your okay nothing is going to hurt you." I hesitantly pulled her into my arms. More sobs came as she finally gave up. The shield disappeared as she lost control. I pulled her closer and leaned my head against the wall closing my eyes. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this! I wasn't supposed to wake up! Who am I? What am I?!" she screamed into my chest. Her voice was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I just gripped her tighter trying to stop her from breaking. "You're Bella. You're my sweet, beautiful Bella." She kept clawing at her chest until I held her smooth hands still with one of my equally cold ones. "What is this pain? It's ripping at my chest! Why won't it stop? Please, please make it stop!" What could I do how could I make it stop? How could I stop someone else's pain when I could barely contain my own? So I said the only thing I could say. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

We stayed there a while, Cassidy leaning against the door frame and I against the wall stoking her hair humming the song** (I will follow you into the Dark-Death Cab for Cutie)** I composed for Amy over and over. She looked up at my face and stroked my cheek. My eyes fluttered open. I finally got a good look at her beautiful eyes. They were oxen black with small streaks of butter scotch yellow almost brown. Her face looked calculating then happy. A small shy smile spread across her face. "You have really pretty eyes." She sang. Cassidy smirked as I chuckled. "So do you beautiful." She hid her face in my chest. If she could blush she would have been beat red. Cassidy laughed as my smile grew. _Amy, I think I'm going to be okay. _


	5. Chapter 5

**okay chapter 5! thanks so much for the awesome reviews :D oh by the way i need some help why are Ian and Cassidy's eyes violet instead of regular yellow?**

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She's clung to my side since then. Her smooth brown hair flowing down her shoulders her rosy cheeks slowly disappearing with the remainder of her human blood. Her bright curious eyes darkening with thirst. But I could tell she was softening up to Cassidy who absolutely adored her. Everyday, I couldn't get over how even the slightest thing could make her smile. How amazed she was at the most insignificant things. I didn't deserve something as pure as her. My life ended the day Amy's soul left this planet. The day I was trapped to this world, stuck being the one thing I despised the most, the monster that killed my love a vampire. But then how come every time she touches me my dead heart flutters like mad. Every time she laughs the corners of my lips tug up. Every time she sobs it makes me sick to my stomach. I hate this! I hate her for making me feel this! What, so now I don't give a damn about Amy? I don't deserve to smile I don't deserve anything but to burn in hell. She's always clinging at my arm, following me like a lost puppy. I want to scream! Every time my eyes hold traitor tears of what life use to be her tiny hand grips mine. She tilts her head to gaze at me with loving eyes. Every time even if she doesn't remember why she clutches her chest and sobs. I pull her into my arms and smooth her hair humming the same tune. She knows my pain all to well. I hate how she's healing me…us. I don't want to heal, to forget this pain because if I do will I forget Amy too?

I sigh and look at her angel face. She turns to look at me with wide questioning eyes. I smile and flick her forehead. Her shocked face turns into a pout as she huffs and turns back around rubbing her head. I laugh grab her hand flip her around and kiss her forehead smirking. She's about to smack me back when her eyes mist over she tilts and falls into my arms. "Cassidy!" I yell. She runs in and touches Bella's head closing her eyes. _I hate how i love you._

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**PS. thanks fanpire123, ****ihavefoundmyedward2010****, ****Charlie Bucket****, ****rerose1975****, ****sagaaddict****, ****carolina 81****, ****eager for eternal damnation****, ****Dawn.Fire.Angel****, and ****Lady babe poet****. you guys rock! give yourselves a pat on the back lol**

-neonlion


	6. Chapter 6

**okay i know my chapters are short but i really do try to update a lot :D I don't know it helps me get more ideas if i make them short so don't get mad hides behind computer please...**

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Cassidy ripped her hand away as if she was burned. Small Sparks started to surround Bella. "Cass, what happened?" I screamed. Cassidy was rubbing her burnt arm. "It's her powers Ian. They block out mine." Then I remembered the shield. I looked down at my burnt arms. I started panicking. "Vampires don't sleep do they? God, of course they don't I'm such an idiot! Maybe she's sick?! Damn it! Vampires can't get sick either! What the hell!" Cassidy was rubbing her temples as I paced. "Ian will you fucking shut up! All we can do is wait and see. I'm sure she's fine." "But…" Cassidy glared I sighed and plopped down next to Bella and pulled her up in my lap. "Damn it." I muttered

**Bella POV-**

I floated as images flew past me to fast to see. A song was playing but it sounded muffled sort of like a lullaby. My chest felt like it was being ripped out by every sweet note. Yet I needed it. I wanted the beautiful music to continue. It was like breathing for the first time. _"Why does it hurt? Why does it hurt so badly? Where is he?" _What was that voice? It sounded kind of like mine but not as perfect. It sort of sounded plain… _"Where is he? Why did he leave me? Why is it so dark?" _I stumbled up wind whipping my hair across my face. The images flew faster. Lights, murmurs, music played around me. The voice was now sobbing. I had to find her. I had to help her. I started running toward the sobs into the dark.

There she was huddled in a ball shaking. Trying to breath but only making short raspy breaths. She looked so familiar. Pale stringy brown hair falling down her shoulders with pale chalky skin, she was pretty but definitely not beautiful. I slowly walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. As soon as my finger brushed her skin my heart exploded. I grabbed my chest as I fell to my knees. She looked at me with warm chocolate brown eyes. _"Who are you?" _My chest was now practically numb with pain but still ached. I looked away from her stunning eyes. "Bella."My voice sounded so weak compared to hers. "Who are you? What's wrong? Where are we?"My voice grew higher as I panicked drilling her with questions. She just shook her head as water dripped from her eyes. _"I don't know, I can't remember. All I know is that I have to find a person."_

"Who, Why?"

"_I told you I DON'T KNOW but maybe we'll figure it out when we find him." _She sighed exasperated.

"Well, that's real helpful." Now it was my turn to sigh. "Do you have a picture or something?" she just looked at me and glared. "Okay that was pretty stupid…but still why should I help you?"

"_Because…" _She said standing up with a sigh. _"You need him too." _Blinding Lights all of the sudden flashed on as I felt like I was being pulled out of the way of a speeding truck. I was temporarily blinded when she spoke her voice getting softer with every word. _"Talk to you soon." _She waved as I caught a glimpse of a crescent moon scar on her hand.

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**please please please review! and no flames please i promise i will update soon :) have i said please enough times yet... please lol okay now i'm bored**


	7. Chapter 7

**yay chapter 7! thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! oh and if someone thinks of a reason why Ian and Cassidy's eyes are violet i will dedicate a chapter to them.**

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Everything was so hazy, like wearing a bad prescription of contact lenses. My hearing was muffled; taste, might as well not have it at all. But the one thing I did have was feeling. Everything felt colder. The wet, hard, slushy pavement, the think liquid drops that fell from my scraped knees, the new warmth of my soft flesh, but the most important feeling of all were his strong, cold, granite arms around me. Blurred faces were all around us so still, waiting for something that I didn't know or care about. His spiky bronze hair was facing me as he slowly looked up from a big blue crushed van to me. Oh god he was so, so beautiful. Even though his face was blurred. I tried to move mine closer to his, my eyes hungrily searching for more. I tried to reach my mouth to speak words I couldn't put together. For once in my pathetic short existence I felt whole. His face lowered to mine almost as if he was searching too. Please don't leave me, don't leave me now when I feel so alive for once. Don't kill me again. If there was a god out there who truly loved me don't let him leave me not now. I finally found my hand as I reached up to touch his beautiful almost delicate cheek. I caught a flash of his panicked topaz eyes. Why? Why was someone as elegant, resplendant as him allowed to look so desperate, so conflicted? I was starting to be pulled away, away from my angel, my heaven. I screamed in protest as salty water poured down my cheeks. Tears? What a sad lonely word.

"AHHHHH!" I screamed falling to the floor ripping at my chest. Not only was I screaming. So was the plain girl with the beautiful eyes once again in the darkness. Her sobs echoing in my head. It was too much. I wanted to die; I wanted that blissful fire to consume me again. Anything was better than this. I didn't realize I was in his comforting arms until he started smoothing my hair humming my medicine that might not be able to heal the wound this time. Cassidy grabbed my hand tracing tiny circles humming in harmony with Ian. It was so beautiful before but now nothing could ever hold a candle to the word. Why were they doing this? Why were they wasting their time on such a useless case? I would never be saved. Now I knew the weight of the stranger's words. I was madly, hopelessly in love with a beautiful man I don't even know.

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**aww look at the pretty review button. you know you want to click it :D**


	8. confused? explanation and thanks

**Hi ya guys! I'm sorry this isn't a chapter but I realized a lot of people are confused so here is a little explanation of what has happened. I really hope it helps :)**

**Bella was bitten by Ian when Edward left now she's a vampire but has lost her memories. Bella's memories are locked up in human Bella who's in love with Edward. While vampire Bella is in love with Ian. Slowly Bella is getting flashbacks of her memories. It's sort of like the host if you read that (awesome book) but human Bella isn't really another person just a form of what Bella use to be...**

**I think it will make more sense as the story grows so don't worry if your still lost. sigh I'm not good at explaining stuff lol**

**I'd also like to thank…**

**ash999**

**rerose1975**

**edwardanthonymasoncullen2013**

**pricel**

**carolina 81**

**eager for eternal damnation**

**Charlie Bucket**

**bella almost cullen**

**deepcutfighter**

**TaylorxxTwihard**

**ihavefoundmyedward2010**

**sagaaddict**

**Dawn.Fire.Angel**

**Lady babe poet**

**Thanks for the reviews :D**


	9. Chapter 8

**I'm so sorry how late this is but stupid school started and I've been loaded with work! I tried to make it a little longer :) And i'll try and get next chapter in soon. Hope you like it!

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Cassidy P.O.V**

Time goes on people change, people die, hearts break, hearts heal. That's the way of life isn't it? So why isn't it moving? Why isn't the cycle happening? Why are we all stuck like this? Why do we have to suffer because of someone else's mistake? Why do we have to suffer from everyone's mistakes! We'd finally gotten on track! We were finally going to walk again but now were alive again. I've never seen my brother in so much pain, so much frustration, so much misery, and so much happiness. He's alive again but is it right? Would it have been better if we were still dead, numb, but moving?

It was the third day of nothing and I was walking through the hallways of our little house. My perfect hair kept falling in my face no matter how many times I tucked it back. I touched my eyes feeling that itchy uncomfortable feeling. All that remained of my tears. I couldn't cry no matter how much I wanted not even cry for him. He trusted me. Nick loved me enough to take that risk. He thought, no knew I wouldn't let him die, but his hope was wasted. My hands bawled into fists, nails scraping my granite skin with the force to dent a ship. The same skin he called beautiful. Don't cry. He told me. I wanted to more than he would ever know. Don't be sad, easier said than done. Keep smiling, only on the outside. Keep living. How could I possibly live if I was already dead? How could I even hope to feel anything if he wasn't living with me? But still everyday I had to keep up my happy go lucky little charade. I became what Ian needed, what everyone expected. I said what any sister should say did what any other person would do. A permanent mask locking up my every dirty little secret, feeling, regret. Nick I died. So how come when she comes into my life I feel a little spark in my shriveled up heart. Was it because she's like you, because I've never had a little sister, maternal instincts? I don't know how she edged her way into our lives or why my heart is pretending to beat. Is it because now I, we finally have a reason to live?

I stopped hearing my shoes grip the wooded floor. My hair fell over my eyes, I didn't bother to brush it away. No. I'm not going to let this continue. I whipped around in the opposite direction running so fast everything was a blur. I threw the door open. There they were. She was huddled in his arms hiding again. He was perfectly content with that. "Get up." My tone was harsh, stronger than I expected. Ian looked up sending me a warning glare his teeth clenched. Bella flinched but didn't lift her face from his chest. "I said get the fuck up." I yanked her from his arms. Her shield lit bright sparks around us, it burned. Ian jumped up about to take her back but I punched him hard in the gut. He was paralyzed for a minute trying to gain back his useless habit of breathing. But that was all I needed. Her head was still bent down but her body shook with more helpless sobs. I slapped her. "Fight back damn it!" I shrieked between sobs. She stared shocked gripping her cheek. "You need to find this person so much prove it! Did he mean nothing to you or are you just a pathetic weakling!" Something clicked. "What are you going to do wallow in self pity for the rest of eternity? You're trash!" Ian screamed as I through punch after punch. He was almost there when she caught my fist. Her eyes held so much pain but were made of steal. "I am going to fight." She whispered her voice breaking. I pushed harder not giving in. Ian just stared he hadn't heard her voice in so long. "You're going to what?" I mocked. She flung her fist at my cheek flying me across the room. "I'm going to fight back!" She yelled running in to my embrace sobbing dry tears of relief. "You're damn right about that." I laughed feeling that annoying itch in my eyes, finally time's moving again.


	10. Chapter 9

**hi everyone I'm sorry it's not that good but i haven't had a lot of time thanks to something... X( cough school cough**

**but anyway since i love you guys so much i tried to get something in! :D lol hope you like it and please, please review!**

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**Bella POV-**

Thump, thump, thump thump thump, thump thump. I could see every little hair, every twitch of its wings, its eyes flickering left, right, up, down. That was all I knew. I couldn't hear the murmur of the T.V. nor Cassidy's soft pacing. Not even his voice in my ear. Thump, thump, thump thump thump, thump, thump. I couldn't feel Ian's fingers running through my hair or the shivers that ran through my body every time he stroked my cheek. And it scared me. I was so… _thirsty?_ Exactly. The plain girl scrunched her nose at the thought of the tiny insect's blood. _If you need to hunt, which you do, don't waste your time on something so minuscule. _Like what? How? Where? By now the thirst was getting unbearable. My body leaned out to the tiny life. My teeth covered with venom. The tip of my tongue glided against my lips. She pondered it for a moment nibbling on her lip leaning on one foot them the other. I wanted to break out of my skin, my prison, but the cell was only made of questions. Questions I didn't know the answers to. Her eyes cleared as she pointed them on me like a sword. _Mountain lion, I don't know, and in the forest. _I was jealous, jealous of her certainty, her strength, her knowledge, her fortress from the thirst that tortured me, and her beautiful milk chocolate eyes. Why mountain lion? I asked. She looked confused, thoughtful and was about to open her mouth. "Bells, you have to hunt." There was that word again. I watched as he raised his finger to my cheek to wipe a speck of blood not visible to human sight. I scrunched my eyes shut rapping my arms around him tighter. Whimpering in pain I could only nod. He picked me up as we soared through the sky into the canopy of trees.

Then it hit me. Like a sponge in water. I was already in the sink soaking up the sweet liquid. It was a beautiful deer with her two children. Her body was tense in front of her kin until she dropped. They watched horrified. "Monster!" their eyes screamed. The mother was drained of every drop of blood but I was still so thirsty. "Bella follow your instincts, its okay sweetheart let go." What if I didn't want to? _Just do it quickly, imagine something else. They will feel no pain. You're making it worse by waiting. _"Baby, let go." I charged.

Finally, the pain was gone as I stared at my hands, my soiled shirt, and the remains of my meal. He wrapped his arms around me holding me so close, like I could mold my self into his body. He lifted my chin staring into my wide eyes. "You're so beautiful Bella." My face was reflected in his but that wasn't what he was staring at. He looked right through me, into my soul and truly meant it. An invisible blush dusted my cheeks as the girl huffed in my head her face discordant. _Suck up… _She thought.His eyes flashed as he bent his head closer to mine the skin he touched burned. Everything was slowly burning as sparks of my shield lit the air around us. His lips brushed mine, the smoldering heat took over. My fingers gripped his hair as he pulled me closer. She was disgusted, brown eyes taken over by fury. But all I could think of was him as our lips danced in perfect rhythm.

The whole was ripping further in half. Was I giving up? Did I even need to fight to begin with? She screamed falling into the dark, shriveled up in a ball. _NO! DON'T YOU DARE LET ME LOOSE HIM! _She shrieked sobbing, begging. WHO THE HELL WAS HIM ANYMORE! How much more could I loose? How much more could I take! Ian pulled away to look at my face but I buried it to fast in his chest. I didn't want to stop kissing him. I didn't want to be ripped away from heaven. But would heaven even matter if I found no name? The girl stopped shaking her breath becoming steady.

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**Aww! look at the pretty review button! you know you want to click it!**


	11. Chapter 10

**yay chapter 10! i thought it would be longer darn it! sigh Well i hope you like it :D

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Cassidy POV-

_Orange hair whipped past the trees as she ran. Right, left, dodge, jump. I couldn't see her face. She was screaming as if being ripped apart, venom oozing out of her too pale skin gleaming in the moonlight. She ran faster and faster her legs beating against the ground kicking up clomps of earth flying behind her. She took a long stride as I caught a glimpse of her tortured face. Her eyes gleamed brighter than anything I've seen in my existence. Sobs strangling her cries of desperation. It hurt just to look at her, to hear her pain… was like nothing on this earth. _

_A building was burning its flames the same color as her chaotic hair. Then she jumped. Was she suicidal, moronic? Didn't she know the fate that was waiting for her in that fire? Even monsters like us burn. In mid air a shadow pounced upon her throwing her to the ground with the force of an earthquake. She coughed up more venom as she clawed at the ground shrieking. The female vampire thrashed like a tortured animal but the male was stronger. He launched a powerful kick at her stomach making her spit up more of the clear liquid choking herself she could no longer scream. The man kneltdown his mouth next to her ear. He was the most beautiful of the two his skin olive-toned with glossy black hair. His lips pulled back showing gleaming white. "Count this payback." He murmured in her ear. She just continued to cough shaking attempting to scream but only mouthing a name reaching toward the glowing killer. He laughed; amused he picked her up throwing her carelessly over his back and began to walk away passing a hot pink sign saying the studio was closed for spring break. She finally managed one more strangled scream that sounded like James. The vision flashed between pictures of the orange haired woman. Some crying, some tracking with the male, but all focused on one target only Bella Swan._

The world started to come back into focus as I lost the vampire's memories. I stopped pacing my hand clenched in a fist above my dead heart. The door bell rang far after I sensed a presence behind the weak entrance. I was about to scream but it was too late. A hand clasped against my lips. "Don't say a word." He demanded as a pixie like vampire waltzed in.

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**Who ever reviews will become my best friend!! come on please! by the way if you didn't know who's memories Cassidy was reading it was Victoria's so yeah...**


	12. Chapter 11

**sorry i took so long! but i hope you like this chapter :) it's now winter break so i'll try to write more often. **

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Bella-

I felt my chest clench as I bit my lip willing the uncomfortable dry feeling in my eyes to go away. I didn't dare breathe. Blurry faces swam in my mind some more so than others. I started to feel dizzy as the world around me became more vivid, until I felt Ian tense around me. The forest became dead quiet; a breeze with the strength of a butterfly's wing blew one curl of my hair when all hell broke loose.

Ripped, I was ripped out of his arms into another's. Time didn't matter anymore, lights shined as wind whipped my hair in my face.

"Hey little sis good to have you back." He closed his eyes showing his pearly whites. The world shimmered faster as the girl in my mind chanted "Emmett Emmett Emmett Emmett!" Visions of his smiles filled my mind.

Blond hair flew past me when the most beautiful vampire I've ever seen gave me a shy smile. "Hello Bella." "Rosalie Rosalie Rosalie Rosalie!" The plain girls beautiful eyes filled with water giving mine an uncomfortable itch. Flashes of the blond vampire's protective glares covered my eyes.

Then he flew past. I couldn't breathe. His hair was flying in his face, those eyes staring straight ahead. I screamed grabbing my chest. Who was he? Why does it hurt? The girl was banging at her cage shrieking as if she was dieing her nails bleeding as she scratched her way through. I was being ripped apart. He was hurting Ian. Why was he killing my Ian? Why was Ian hurting my no name? I felt every punch.

"GIVE HER BACK YOU BASTARDS!" Ian roared his temper bursting. No name didn't say a word; his eyes as hard as steel. Stop. My shield began to spark as Emmett placed me on the ground shocked. Stop. I tried to shakily stand still holding my chest. Stop. My feet beat against the ground, every thing was in slow motion he had Ian pinned to a tree and was advancing toward him pulling his fist back aiming for Ian's head.

Crack. His eyes widened shining as he pulled his fist back like he was poisoned. It hurt so much more than expected, but felt so much better than seeing it. Ian strangled gasp was the only sound that bounced in the clearing. As he reached out for my arm the world fizzed over slowly dimming where was she? Her cries became silent while no name's eyes burned wholes in my being.

"Bella?" So soft so beautiful I felt myself swaying, oh so beautiful.

"Who are you?" Our voice, my voice whispered being carried by the wind.

Then I dropped.

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**PS. I love reviews the more i get the faster i write so please leave one they make my day! **


	13. Chapter 12

**Yay another chappie! thanks for all the wonderful reviews + All the flash backs A.K.A** _text in this format _**are quotes from the book twilight written by stephanie meyer. Now that that's over enjoy! :D

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**Bella POV-**

"What no more magic?" I was back here again wind tossing my long brown hair, darkness covering everywhere except the light shooting past us of images unknown. She just gave a sad smile shaking her head. We stood across each other no more than 3 feet apart. "I'll never see you again will I?" The plain girl just shook her head opening her tired, pretty brown eyes. I looked down seeing nothing; not really knowing what to say.

The black world started to shimmer filling with beauty. Sounds, feelings, and tiny bolts of light started taking over my mind. I felt someone grasp my arms with such strength I gasped. Closing her eyes the plan girl's fingers drew patterns up my arms slowly rising to my temples. Growing brighter and brighter my dead heart danced. Both her arms gripped mine, fingers dancing pulling me closer and closer. One lone tear fell as she leaned her lips to my forehead. "You know, you really are beautiful." Her smile grew wider and then petals touched my skin and everything exploded.

_**Flash**_

"_What do you want from me Bella!" _

"_I want the truth, and I want to know why I'm lying for you."_

_**Flash**_

"_I'm not going to tell anybody."_

"_Then why does it matter?"_

"_It matters to me."_

_**Flash**_

"_You look worried."_

"_No, surprised actually what brought all this on?"_

"_I told you-I got tired of trying to stay away from you so I'm giving up."_

"_Giving up?"_

_**Flash**_

"_What's wrong is she hurt?"_

"_I think she fainted. I don't know what happened; she didn't even stick her finger."_

"_Bella. Can you hear me?"_

"_No, go away."_

_**Flash**_

"_Don't be afraid, I promise I swear not to hurt you. Don't be afraid."_

_**Flash**_

"_I don't want you to leave."_

"_Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should."_

"_I'm glad."_

"_Don't Be! It's not only your company I crave! Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else."_

_**Flash**_

"_So what you're saying is that I'm your brand of heroin?"_

"_Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."_

_**Flash**_

"_And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…"_

"_What a stupid lamb."_

"_What a sick, masochistic lion."_

_**Flash**_

"_Shhh, Bella calm down."_

"_Don't leave me."_

"_I won't, now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you."_

_**Flash**_

"_Bella, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me."_

"_Do you swear you won't leave me?"_

"_I swear."_

But you didn't mean any of it did you?

_**Flash**_

"_You….don't…want me?" _

"_No."_

No. It echoed through my mind. His smiles, his laughs, his cries, his groans, his pleas, his love, his warm butterscotch eyes, his betrayal, all banging against me; forcing me to understand something I never wanted to learn. Why? Was I that hideous? Was I that pathetic? No, No, No, No! I was waking up and I was scared. How much more could my heart take? The wind stopped as I sobbed and sobbed. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to go die again. Lights shined with blotches of black, I could barely hear someone whispering my name.

No.

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**please please please tell me if you like it! I love your reviews :)**


	14. Chapter 13

**I'm so sorry i haven't updated in a while!!! X( my computer had a horrible virus and i had to delete everything. Ugh i feel so rusty i haven't written in so long. I really hope you enjoy this chapter I'm sorry if it's not as good as my others but they will get better as i become more in tune with the story again :) please tell me if you like it i love your reviews.**

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Slowly my eyes blinked against the bright light. Am I dead? No, god isn't that kind especially to the abomination that was me. Ian's soft lyrics sent waves through my heart. I tried to stay perfectly still concentrating on nothing but his fingers running gently through my hair as he rocked me back and forth singing my lullaby; his lullaby? I didn't care, I refused to care anymore. It was, he was the only thread that held me here. His tight grip around me held me together as I yearned for something so much more. "Bells, do you know how much I love? Do you even care how much I need you?" My eyes shot open he knew I was awake. It was like he could read my heart. I was too shocked to hold in the next strangled sob. He only gripped me tighter as the waves ripped through me. "How could you do that? Do you know how horrible, how painful it was for me to be able to do nothing as you fell? To just sit here…and beg and plead for you to wake up!" His words were strangled as they worked their way out of his pretty lips. "Damn it! Don't you ever do anything so pointless and stupid ever again! Do you hear me?" His fingers painfully dug into my shoulders making it impossible not to look at his blurry red tearing eyes. "Oh Fuck it!" Something in my face made his iron grip falter as he scooted me aside and covered his stressed face with his two rough hands. That was so much worse. I reached my hand out to trace his cheek bringing his face close to mine I kissed his nose, biting my lip to hold back the sadness. His eyes held mine with such warmth. How could I have ever thought of doing something that hurt him so much? His beautiful face was right next to mine his breath tickling my cheek sending warmth spiraling through me. "So the Angel fell in love with the Monster." He breathed leaning his forehead to mine. My eyes fluttered shut the floor made an inaudible creek as he pressed his lips to mine.

"BELLA! GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HER YOU TRASH!" Edward fought against his capturers' hands reaching out for me. Why? I didn't want to but I was drawn to him. I felt shaky as I crawled over to him. Emmett and Jasper stopped feeling his resistance drop. I crawled farther and farther my eyes hazing over with pain. I felt Ian try to grasp my ankle but stop as my beautiful little pixie Alice held him down.

Is it possible to love both sides of the war? Even though you know your place? What if the one side fired away at you with no mercy breaking you apart, why would you continue crawling across the battle field? My hand trembled as I brushed my fingertip against his cheek. His face as if by reflex curved into my touch. Why? Why? Why? WHY? He looked up feeling my hand go rigid as I tried to keep myself in. How could I be mad at him? It was simple I couldn't. It was physically impossible for me to be mad so what replaces all that pain and betrayal? I couldn't cry anymore, I couldn't hide anymore, I couldn't run anymore. So I did the strangest most inappropriate thing I could have done. I laughed. My timid tinkling bells laugh bounced around the room. No one laughed along.

His battered yet of course still beautiful face stared back at me with scared worried eyes. He was scared of me! Now that was something to laugh about. I doubled over laughing and rasping as I gripped my chest where my shriveled up heart lay. Emmett and Jasper left Edward forgotten as they ran over to support me. By now I couldn't breathe the rasping sobs and laughs broke through me it was sickening. Alice sprinted calling for Carlisle and Esme. My nails dug into my arms making long thick trails of red.

Finally, Cassidy walked in followed by Carlisle and Esme. Whack! The sound of her slap ripped through the room. "We just keep ending up like this don't we Bella?" My laughs halted to a stop all I could do was nod. She pulled me into a quick tight hug grasping my wrist and pulling me up. "Will you excuse us for one second?" She inquired giving a small guarded smile.

"I think that would be a good idea Cassidy thank you for your assistance." Carlisle said Ian opened his mouth ready to give a sarcastic come back when Cassidy in the blink of an eyes slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Come on Ian we don't want to start anything with our wonderful guests now do we?" His eyes narrowed into a permanent scowl

"Of course we don't." Edward hissed as Ian through his arm around me guiding me to the door. Hello Hell it's me Bella.

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**please review....please :)**


	15. Chapter 14

**OMG MORE THAN 50 REVIEWS!!!!! *HAPPY DANCE* THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE THAT HAS REVIEWED OR EVEN READ MY STORY!!! This is such a huge accomplishment for myself as a writer :D And wow it's been a whole year since i've started "Love Me" So i can't thank you enough!!! I hope you enjoy the chapter and there's an important author's note at the end so read that too!!!  
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Everything I've ever said to you was true. Your life's wine was my heroin, your brown pools were my medication, your laughs were my air, your smiles were my sun, and your tears were my heart. I don't want you I need you.

-Edward Cullen

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Bella POV-**

Why? Why does it always have to end like this? Gripping myself closer i tried to control the pain. Get a grip, smile, and conquer it, but it was just too much. Why does it always got to hurt like this? Sobs racked my body as i finally gave up. I can't believe i said that... I can't believe how much i wanted to mean that. This power he has over me... It scares me...

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"_Bella let's leave, let's just leave! We can go back to the way we were before. Before that asshole ruined everything!" Ian emphasized every word pulling me closer and closer until his breath panted against my open lips. _

"_But…but…" Stammering, panic began to take over. How did he honestly expect me to answer that when he's this close, so close? Twisting my jumbled emotions with his burning, too dark, charcoal eyes the space between us was forcibly becoming one. Desire, need, love, heat, panic, desperation all pushing air out of the compass. _

"_Ian, stop sexually harassing Bella for one moment please!" With the help of Cassidy's fierce glare Ian slowly withdrew sending air whistling back around me never relinquishing his tight hold around my fist. Peering up I caught sight of his static face staring straight ahead. Why is he trying to keep it all in? Why is he so scared? Why is he hiding himself from me? _

"_They're coming." He stated more than asked. My body curved into the sweet sound of his voice as questions popped in mind._

"_Seems like the Cullens aren't the only issue here." Cassidy spoke gliding across the wooden porch. _

"_Did you learn anymore about them?" Ian questioned._

"_Victoria… Victoria and Laurent, one female one male and pose a great risk to Bella. " I couldn't breathe. Victoria, just the name sent burning acid crawling up my throat. Sensing my panic Ian gripped me closer. _

"_Why are they after her?" Ian voice grew rough with anger._

"_Bella can answer that right?" Giving me a warm smile Cassidy prompted me to begin with my story._

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So together we discovered who I was.

_

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"Hello Bella." His angelic voice jump started my weak heart as electric cables rip a dead engine back to life. Even though I've felt his presence the moment his penetrating gaze fell upon my naked heart; 2 hours ago. Why bother responding? We had nothing to discuss._

_"Bella Nothing to discuss?!? We have worlds to "discuss." If it weren't him, i would have stomped out the very moment his feet touched the doorway; not giving it a second thought, but it was him. Edward and i have this connection of absolute need that no one else but us could ever understand. Feelings buried in the darkest trenches of my heart began to resurface like bile spilling out of my clenched teeth._

_"Oh Edward i'm so sorry for my crude behavior." I stomped up the porch steps standing on my tip toes to meet his eye level gaze. "I'm sorry your little play toy grew some fangs." Venom pulsed through my body as i ran my tongue along the curve of his jaw causing shivers of pleasure running through him._

_"Bella?" His sultry voice was filled with wanting and promises of fake, fickle love that ripped at my heart strings. Eyes turning to steel i locked my bitter gaze with his clouded eyes._

_"What happened Edward? Did you miss your little Bella Doll? Did you miss her warm, mouth watering pulse? Her seductive blood rushed cheeks? Maybe her fragile flesh you just couldn't wait to hack into gory pieces? Oh Edward your little heroine... How did it ever end again?" "Oh, Edward don't leave me! I love you forever you're my world now!"_

_Hurt flashed across his hypnotic butterscotch eyes, good he deserves every bit of the pain he gets. "I'm sorry to tell you this Eddie...." Slowly my lips trailed kisses along the curve of his jaw down to the irresistible arch of his alluring neck. Nipping at his equally cool flesh drawling blood/venom from his latest meal i pushed myself into him; rubbing our bodies together mere fabric and self control keeping us from being one. Raising my dark lidded eyes to his bright bewildered ones, i brought my petal lips to his ear, and lowering my voice just to a whisper, and let him hurt just as i had. "She's dead Edward, She's dead."  
_

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Stumbling through the falling snow I slowly slid to the ground. Now, pulling myself closer, who am I?

"_So now you have to choose." __**Choose?**_ Coughing up blood mixed with venom darkness is beginning to cloud my vision as I secede back into the darkness of my memories.

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**okay you don't have to say it. "neon, what's up with the ending??? i don't get it!!! she seemed fine before, please explain!!" **

**so here's your explanation:**

**All this time since the first chapter i have ever written for this story has been from Bella's past. Only the text like **this **is from present time. But that underlined text was just a glimpse of** **future chapters to come my amazing readers. The story will continue to work up to that point, but for now sit back enjoy and thank you so much for being the amazing people that you are. If i could i would thank everyone of you! **

**If your still confused send me a message and i'll try to help. Sorry im such a confusing author!!! IT WILL ALL MAKE SENSE IN THE END!! **

**Also PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! i love them sooo much! + they encourage me to write faster :D  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**All i can say my dear readers is it has been one hell of a year! This is the first time I've touched Love Me since... wow a while so please excuse my errors as i try to fall back into the story. I deeply apologize for the long long wait but now I'm ready to write again! :D  
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Deep down inside myself, do I wonder? Why… why do I hide? Am I scared, too embarrassed to admit, that my entire being is wrapped up Inside your existence. Does it hurt? To be so enamored in this pointless fight I know I can never win. Does it feel? As though life its self crashes like glass against tile when you smile. Oh yes. The saddest part is that I could never say I regret loving you.

Cassidy POV-

"So, are we all on the same page here?" The Alice girl sung unable to stand still for more than two milliseconds. My party was silent; apparently I was the elected speaker.

"I believe so, our main objective is to protect Bella the rest will be decided in time." The Cullens sat stone still across the cabin living room's couch as Ian splayed out on a bean bag chair on the opposite side. His posture screamed defiance. Poor Bella leaned against the wooden wall eyes downcast avoiding Ian's concerned stares mixed with Edward's hurt looks. Pssh, idiots.

"It's decided Bella will be kept out of fighting range protected by yourself and Edward, correct?" Carlisle voice inquired. Ian's low grumble was tuned out by Bella's outcry.

"What? But I want to fight!" The familiar spark of her shield crackling caught everyone's attention. Memories emitting from Jasper, past experiences with new borns nudged themselves into my mind's eye.

"Bella we're only looking out for your best interests…" He soothed sending waves of calm throughout the room. Bella grumbled plopping down Indian style on the floor. Edward's mouth twitched into a knowing smile at Bella's resistance until he caught himself and wiped his face blank of expression.

"SO WHO HERE KNOWS HOW TO KICK ASS?" Emmett's voice boomed blasting through the guarded atmosphere. Ian smirked slowly rising to his feet settling into a low crouch.

"Thought you'd never ask." His eyes gleamed with the excitement of a challenge his tone begging for a fight.

"Emmett take it outside! We are thankful guests at this beautiful home we wouldn't want to destroy it with you over sized butt!" Esme scolded causing Jasper to crack a smile and Alice to giggle. This time memories shed off Bella seeping into my mind. All of the Cullens and her before everything changed… before they abandoned her. I muffled a growl as I gently lifted Bella's chin gazing into her eyes. They reflected the hurt; you didn't need to be undead to see that. I gripped her hand sharing a small smile. I will protect you little sister, I promise.

Carlisle stood center of the Field as both fighters took stance, both ready to charge any second. Bella stood at my side nibbling at her lower lip eyes shining with worry. Ian cocky as ever waved blowing a kiss than flipped Edward off returning to the fight. Edward glowered as Esme tsked with disapproval. As for myself i couldn't help but get caught up with the excitement in the air. Finally,

"FIGHT!" Carlisle commanded Jumping just as the the two ran fist extended about to make contact...

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**Please review they mean the world :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone :) it's wonderful to post again! :D i'm so thankful for all the support i've gotten throughout this story and it's been amazing watching it grow. Because it was my first ever fanfiction and the beginning is rather hard to read i'm planning to make a revised copy soon so be expecting that along with many more new chapters. Hope you enjoy the long awaited chpt 17!**

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Bella POV-

"Watch out!" I cried as Emmett threw himself into the air landing with an explosion strong enough to obliterate the surrounding area. Ian dodged, sliding across the field leaving a cloud of dust as he launched himself at the bear eater. Emmett stood his ground throwing up a punch connecting directly with Ian's chest flying him across the innocent trees. Cries of resistance from the quickly declining terrain almost covered Ian's laughter as he darted like lighting with a spin kick to the face.

"It's a real shame you volunteered to go first, Buddy. You were the only one I could practically stand." Ian sneered, swiping dirt off his lip.

"Thanks for the compliment." Emmett breathed, heaving himself up and falling back into defensive stance. "You're a fast one." Excitement spilled out his eyes as he flaunted a wide grin.

"Can't lie dude, you're pretty slow." Ian retorted gaining a barking laugh from his opponent who in the next second began slamming his fists like rockets, all targeting Ian.

Although staged, watching them fight set me on edge. Distracted only by the occasional crackle of my protective walls, I watched the two artists dance. Emmett relied on power, concentrated force like that of a hurricane. Ian, my dark guardian angel, was a mystery. He had no visible pattern except the lines of determination sculpted into his gorgeous features. I've only seen him once like this; so powerful, so unrestrained, it sent delicious shivers prickling my granite skin.

Emmett gained the upper hand in a spit second grabbing Ian by the ankle while whipping him around like an old rag doll. Panic crawled up my throat like a cobra making it impossible to breathe.

"Ian!" I choked about to throw myself into the brawl when Cassidy's stone cold grip held me in place. I whipped around to face her furious protests about to spill past my lips.

"Just watch." She sung with such confidence I couldn't help but comply.

The sun light dimmed as darkness enclosed the two fighters. Shadows became figures as they inched closer and closer to a very startled Emmett.

"It's been fun." Ian smirked containing a power I couldn't identify. Almost a ghostly presence haunted him. My eyes were glued to his surreal unseeing ones. Suddenly the shadows became whips, wrapping around Emmett as he struggled. Crash! A Sickening thud shook the ground leaving Emmett in a disheveled heap.

Finally having seen enough Carlisle reclaimed his earlier referee role calling a victory for team Cassidy. Rosalie was already by Emmett the moment he made impact with the unforgiving earth. Ian wore a triumphant smile panting from exhilaration as Cassidy gracefully made her way over to him. I paused, for just a moment, trying to play back all of what I just saw. Fear began to creep into my heart, bit by bit freezing my veins. Ian, my beautiful guardian angel, was dangerous. I shook my head and closing my eyes immediately began shoving those traitorous thoughts into oblivion, erasing everything but my need to hold Ian in my arms and the mahogany sea of brown dancing in front of my eyes.

His voice, now guarded but none the less addicting, ironically brought me back to reality.

"He _is _dangerous Bella." He spoke his breathtaking butter scotch eyes finally meeting mine. It was sickening, the warmth bursting in my heart, the heat radiating from my very core. I ached, even my fingertips begged to lace through his golden waves. I couldn't think, I couldn't move, he stole it all away just by speaking my name.

"So are you." The pain echoed through my pretty little strangled voice. All my soul, all my heart, all my love was tainted by him. Like an ocean after an astronomic oil spill he destroyed it all. Would my ocean ever be pure again? Would my heart ever truly move, or was it really dead?

His eyes seared into mine. He was trying so hard to tell me something, something I was too scared to hear. I love him, I can't stop. I'm tainted, I'm ruined.

But that last part was a lie.

"Bells, baby what's wrong?" Pure love and concern laced every word, his victory long forgotten. How could I be this way? How could I hurt him like this? How could I hurt them all like this? And so the Angels fell in love with the monster.

Facing my Ian, my guardian angel I broke into a large smile breaking the sadness apart and sealing it up tight. Running into his arms he swung me around a small laugh bubbling past his perfectly sculpted lips. Flying, I was flying.

And so the battles continued on, all preparing us for the first end.

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**Please review!  
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